Ode to the passenger seat.
Oh how I wish the auto-manufacturers could finally produce a passenger seat that isn’t defective in so many ways. I have yet to find one that doesn’t make me crazy! I’ve been in Fords, Toyotas, Volkswagens, Hyundai’s, BMWs, Mercedes, and many more. Our current car is a much-vaunted Audi with many of the added accessories, but clearly in spite of the best German engineering available to them, Audi hasn’t figured it out either. – Ode to the passenger seat.
My needs aren’t much. I want a passenger seat that is comfortable and not prone to summoning fear, anxiety and outright hatred. I suspect many failed relationships started in these awful thrones of discontent. Clearly, the evil auto manufactures and their wicked governmental safety overseers are in league to create loathing and fear on our highways and byways. Why you ask, who knows! It’s a conspiracy!
Defective Windshields
They are clever. I have yet to find one, but I know there’s a seam in that windshield. They do an excellent job in fooling us into believing the optics on the passenger side is the same as the driver’s. They’re not! Like 
mirrors, passenger windshields should also have the mandatory stamp that says ‘Objects in the windshield are much further than they appear when the car is in motion!” When I’m in the passenger seat I can always tell that we’re tailgating at a dangerous distance, but the driver can’t! “Why?” I ask – “optics!” When I’m driving a safe distance from the car in front of me, relative to the speed, and conditions of the road my passenger is always white knuckling the armrest? “Why?” – “Optics!” Can’t the manufacturers get it right! Our relationships wouldn’t suffer so much!
Defective Speedometers
Not only is distance perception a problem but speed perception is equally warped from the passenger seat. Never have my wife and I been in a car and had the same perception that the speed we traveled was about right. How is this so? I think it goes back to the optics problem. Not once in all the time we’ve been together have I driven us off a cliff. Yet, whenever we drive together you would think that I’ve 
taken our lives multiple times by misjudging our speed relative to the road conditions or posted limits! And yet, miraculously, we’re still here! Why is this so, it’s the optics I tell you!
Not only with the windshield, but the speedometer cover has some sort of strange multiplex thing going on. I’ve experienced it countless times. The passenger gets frightened by the speed/distance thing and surreptitiously looks over at the speedometer…. and invariably, screams “your diving too $*@$%#^ fast – SLOW DOWN”! It doesn’t matter whose driving or whose passengering…..happens every time! Why can’t they produce a seat that doesn’t produce angst, fear and discontent?
Effective ‘Cones of Silence’
One thing the manufacturers did get right – the ‘cone of silence’. Invariably 20 minutes into the time/speed/distance perception problem the much loved ‘cone of silence’ descends over the seat. There is no longer any conversation between the driver and passenger. One could literally be doing the once in a lifetime ‘driving off the cliff’, and there would be no words between the passenger and driver at all – just that smug little smile that says ‘see, I told you!’ Amazing, it works like a charm. I guess they did get something right.
Interesting Links
- If you enjoyed the article, link to our other Musings, Screeds and creative works at Darren’s Musings
- Enjoy our images of the spectacular beauty of Alaska, link to our Alaskana Photo Gallery
- If you wish to comment, the form below is available for you!